Random Thought Tuesday – Sophomore Slump?

I compulsively weigh myself every time I enter the bathroom. I am completely fascinated with my weight fluctuations throughout the day. It started out because my scale was so crazy that it would give you one reading and then turn around and give you a completely different reading if you stepped right back on. So at first I was just double checking. It has developed into an obsession. The sad part is I don’t really do anything about it. I just get on, read the result and go get a biscuit.

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Latest incidence of Foot-In-Mouth Disease? I asked the head children’s librarian, the one I have to work with a lot as a homeschooling mother, if the adorable girl standing next to her was her granddaughter and she replied, “that’s my daughter.”
Why, why, why didn’t I just say daughter? Even though it seemed obvious to me that the woman was in her 50’s, still daughter would have been a compliment if it was her granddaughter. Has anyone invented a vaccination for FIM disease yet, because I sorely need it. I’m still getting over this bungle at the basketball game and this one at the Chinese restaurant. Good grief!!!

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And speaking of the library…..we got some of those sight word books. Evidently, the library hasn’t updated their collection because they still have those Dick and Jane books. Let me quote a page from these wonderful learning tools.

Look. Dick is big. Big, big Dick. Look and see big Dick.

And I am supposed to keep a straight face? Seriously, when was this ever a good idea? I mean, I understand that Dick was (is?) a popular nickname, but there are thousands of mainstream phonetically simple male names. Why Dick? I mean, hell, the baby’s name is Sally. Sally is not such an easy word what with the double consonant and soft ‘y’ sound. Why couldn’t they use Dan, Bob, Ted, even Jack? I’m convinced they did this crap on purpose.

Gotta hand it to the books, though. Jade got the hang of it in seconds and her confidence soared! Thanks to Big Dick!

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Alright people….want more RTT? Check out The Un-Mom and Baby Boogers. Now I’m off to revel in your randomness!!

Uh, I’ll Take What’s Behind Door #1….I Think.

My husband is a terrible gift giver. God love him…..heck, I love him. But I have to call a spade a spade. He is a terrible gift giver.

The first and worst gift he ever gave me was a house. I know that may sound crazy, so let me explain. The first time we celebrated my birthday together we were already engaged and and house hunting. A few weeks before my birthday we thought we had found the perfect house. We were in love *swoon*. We spent time exploring the neighborhood…mapping our route to the grocery stores, to our respective places of employment, shopping malls, etc.

We decided to sign a contract and pay our earnest money. The best day to do the paperwork happened to fall on my birthday. Early that morning we went to the realtor’s office, completed the paperwork and gave them our check. Our realtor, who happened to be a friend of ours, took us out for brunch afterward.

After brunch, as The Fiance and I were on our way back home, a few friends called to wish me a happy birthday. Of course, since our relationship was so new yet so intense, they were all curious to know…”What did The Fiance get you for your birthday?”Me, being me, still on a high from the exciting events of the day, replied, “He bought me a house!”.

Of course, I didn’t really think that he bought me a house for my birthday. I just thought it was cool that we ‘bought’ the house on my birthday and it sounded like a cute answer…especially since I hadn’t gotten any real gift from him as of yet.

Well, we ‘celebrated’ when we got home. TF probably took a nap and we otherwise whiled away the rest of the afternoon. The whole time I kept waiting for him to tell me to get ready or give me a card or something. Around 6pm, he asked me if I wanted to go get something to eat. I couldn’t believe it! So, I asked, “Do you have anything planned?” He looked a little surprised at the question, so I prodded gently, “Did you get me anything or plan anything for my birthday?”

Do you know what he said to me? Can you guess? He said, “I bought you a house for your birthday.”

So, no card, no gift, no advance planning….nothing. And had the nerve to try to latch on to my cute little idea that I made up to cover for him.

Anywhoo, The Hubs has hit some high notes since then, but overall…let’s just say he’s working on it. What has worked best for me is to just be clear about what I want. So you can imagine my surprise when I announced to The Hubs, “I know what I want for Mother’s Day this year”, and he replied, “I already got your gift.”

Huh?

Evidently, the Hubs is stepping his game up. He claims that this is something that I asked for and he had to order it.  He wants to surprise me, but he wants me to be happy. So his question to me is, “Do you want what I already picked out for you or do you want this latest thing that you just asked for?”

I don’t know what to do! I know I want what I just asked for, but I can’t remember what I asked for before. But I’m sure that if it is something that I asked for then I really wanted it. But I don’t know if I want it more than this last thing that I asked for. The Hubs says he will switch the gifts with no problem within the next few days, but his feelings will be hurt if I wait until Mother’s Day, see his gift and say, “Thanks honey. That is so sweet. Can I have the other gift?”

What should I do? What would you do?

This post is linked at Real Life Sarah.

They Should Have Just Bought Her Some Chicken Cutlets

O.kay. So, I had something completely different planned for today’s post and then, as I’m making my cyber-rounds before I start blogging, I come across this story:

Miss California to Protect Traditional Marriage;

Pageant Paid for Her Breast Implants

Wha- huh? Excuse me? Ok, this is just sad. I read further and find this quote from Keith Lewis, co-director of the Miss California pageant.

LEWIS: Well, you know, first off, it’s not something that we endorse, nor is it something that we suggest. But when we meet with the titleholder when she’s crowned Miss California, we put to her a litany of questions about how she feels about herself, what she feels she needs to work on, what she may need to change, what is good, what is not good. We want to put her in the best possible confidence in order to present herself in the best possible light on a national stage.

Listen,this is not about Miss California’s answer during the Miss USA pageant. This is about the fact that a woman who has just won a beauty pageant feels that she needs breast implants in order to be in her best confidence and to present herself in the best possible light. I mean, really….what does that say about our society when false perfection (think airbrushing, plastic surgery, etc.) is considered the epitome of beauty? What kind of a standard is that for us and even worse, what kind of standard is that for our daughters?

I’m not going to go on and on. But tell me…what do you think?

Read the entire article here or here with video.

Seriously? Seriously!

So, I open the refrigerator as I’m preparing the kids breakfast and something on the bottom shelf catches my eye.

Oh, come on!

I know what it is. It’s the brownies that I made for The Hubs. I make him brownies about once a week and typically I use a Pyrex dish that has its own cover, but they were both in use when I made the brownies. I know it isn’t as easy as snapping on a cover, but seriously…..you can’t do any better than that? I mean, for goodness sake, just get new foil if you have to.

I snatch off the foil, muttering to myself the entire time and look what’s inside……

You've got to be kidding me!

DUDE!!! Who does that? Who leaves a tiny crumb of a brownie in the dish? I fight the urge to call The Hubs at work (work is extremely important) and tell him about himself.

I’m cooking dinner when he comes home from work, and I can’t hold it any longer. I go, “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”  He’s like, “what’s up?”.

Me: Dude, how could you leave the brownie dish in there with the foil just sitting on top and nothing but brownie crumbs in the dish?

The Hubs: ME??? I was going to ask YOU the same thing! I went to get some brownies last night and had already poured my milk and everything. Then, when I open up the foil, there was this little tiny piece in there. I thought you left it as some sort of sick joke.

O.kay. We stand there staring at each other. Then my dad says, “Sorry guys. I left the brownie in there. I had been nibbling off of a big piece, but I didn’t want to eat the last of anything. So I left a small piece in there, but I was hoping no one else would eat it. I was looking forward to having it after dinner.”

My husband and I just fell out laughing. I guess since my dad is a diabetic he has a different idea of portion size.

Random Thought Tuesday – My First One!!!!!

This is my first RTT. I’m so excited….would it be cheating if it did this every day? Hmmmm……

Actually, this is my first meme altogether(wait, is this a meme or a carnival? I’m such a neo at this). When I first started blogging I turned up my nose at them. Humph…what the hell did I know? Anywhoo, this is really a great one, so here I go….

I really like using Tom’s of Maine Silly Strawberry toothpaste for my daughter, but what’s up with the tube? If you’ve ever used it, you know you have to handle it with kid gloves and always squeeze from the bottom. Over time the whole tube gets all stiff…..it starts to look like it has arthritis or something. If you’ve messed up and started squeezing from the middle or the top, forget about it!  You’ll never get all the toothpaste out. Are the materials used in making the Crest and Colgate tubes really that much worse for the environment? Sheeesh!

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It cracks me up that Jade really thinks that the neighborhood children are her friends. She’s four and the youngest child on our street is 8 and they go all the way up to 13. We’re friendly with all of the kids on our street and they all think that Jade is cute and a baby. She thinks they are peers. So when we pull into our driveway and she sees the children riding their bikes in the cul de sac, she gets all excited and asks them if they want to ‘play’ with her. Um, Jade has to stay in our driveway and they are allowed to go up and down the block and in some cases beyond. They ride their bikes…fast. She still needs help with her bike and it has training wheels. They walk and play in the street. She is forbidden from going in the street. So exactly, how can they play? They love to come over and say ‘hi’ and oooh and aaah over the ‘babies’ of the neighborhood, but they just kind of look at each other when Jade says, “Do you want to play?”

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I shop at a lot of stores for my groceries. I go to my local farmers’ market for my fresh produce and meats. I go to the local chains in a pinch for organic/all natural pantry goods and my favorite yogurt. I go to Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s because my family has gotten hooked on some of their brands and for produce and meats if I can’t make it to the Farmers’ Market. And I shop at Wal-Mart for everything else. I’ve tried to streamline it, but I can’t. I had almost eliminated Whole Foods from the equation, but they are the only ones that sell the Happy Baby baby food that I still use to make sure that O gets his veggies and lentils. ugh.

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This was supposed to be a part of the last random thought, but it turned into a long random thought on it’s on, so here without further adue is my next random thought….out of all the stores I shop at, why is Wal-Mart the only one whose shopping cart fleet is 99.9% defective? Seriously, every time I go to that store I get cart with the jacked up wheel. wtd?

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I’ll leave you with this great quote that I got from a tweep this week.

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education- Albert Einstein

yeah….let that marinate for a while…..

HAPPY TUESDAY!!!!!

Parents Say the Darndest Things

Last night we went to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants for dinner because a) we haven’t eaten out in months and b) my dad basically bribed us to get us out of the house.

This is the inside. Isn't it purty?

Now, I think I have mentioned that my daughter attends a full immersion foreign language preschool. She is currently studying Japanese and French, but picks up a little Chinese and Spanish as well.

So, as we are walking into the restaurant, my daughter starts speaking to everyone she sees. And because they are Chinese, she greets them in Chinese, “Ni Hao! Ni Hao! NI HAO!”

When we walked into the foyer, he maitre’d (I hope that doesn’t sound too formal, should I have just said host?) greets us in English and Jade replies, “Ni Hao!” He looks surprised for a second and looks up at us as if to ascertain if one of us are Chinese or maybe part-Chinese or otherwise get a clue as to why our daughter is speaking Chinese. Then he proceeds to ask Jade a question in Chinese. She answers and he is astounded (so I think). He looks up at us and asks us a question in Chinese.
I blush a little and tell him kindly, “Sorry, we don’t speak Chinese.”
He stares at me and says, “That wasn’t Chinese. I said, you want sit outside or inside.”

So embarrassing!!!

Confessions Part II

Okay, here’s the real deal.

Ever since I started blogging, I’ve been pretending that everything in my world is okay, when it isn’t. Well, it is, but it isn’t.

So, my hubby lost his job in October. And he got another job in December . But…..there was a catch. His new job was commission only. And…..in his field it can take 8-15 months to earn the first commission.  Can you say YIKES!

So, (I say so a lot, don’t I? You should see how many so’s I delete when I edit) we’ve been living on the edge since January. We did have enough savings to make it from October to the end of December (thank God our kids are small and for grandparents. The holidays were fine).  But once we paid our bills for January, there was just barely enough money to make it through the rest of the month (gas, groceries, etc) and we couldn’t see how we were going to do February.

Never before in my life have I ever been in such a scary situation. I have two small children and we were down to our last thousand dollars in the world.

To make a long story short, due to a tax return, not paying debts, preschool scholarship, HUGE changes in lifestyle (first I stopped buying organic foods, then I stopped buying in bulk, then I stopped buying fresh foods, and so on and so on) and liquidating retirement accounts, we made it to today.

Please don’t get me wrong. I know and am grateful that we have been so blessed through this process. But it has been…..let’s just call it a character building experience. And it has been compounded by the fact that our life was very yuppiesh. You know what I mean….kids birthday parties every weekend, girls’ nights out several times a month, kids activities (gymnastics, karate, swimming, etc.), golf and so on and so forth. Those things cost money! And when you are counting every penny…..well, let’s just say it can get very lonely.

Additionally, you are forced to explain why you are no longer showing up at activities. People get offended if you don’t come to their child’s birthday party or don’t show up for the girls night out that they planned. Then you have to tell people over and over again what the situation is. Ugh. So not fun.

Anywhoo, I’ve kind of felt like a fraud, because as I blogged, I had so much on my mind and in my heart, but I was just pretending like everything was fine and dandy.

And no, my hubby has still not earned his first commission. But I know that it hasn’t been by our own hand that we have made it this far and I trust God to continue providing for us.

Thanks for listening!!!!

Change of Plans

The Hubs came home with some interesting news on Tuesday. Every year his firm purchases a table at this particular fundraiser. The fundraiser is a black-tie dinner at the fanciest hotel that this tiny Southern town can sustain. The town is about a two hour drive from where we live. Every year nobody from the firm wants to attend. I don’t know if it’s the drive or the town or what, but his firm has started obligating the junior associates to attend.  Since he has only been at this firm for 4 months, we had to go.

So on Tuesday I start freaking out about getting ready for a formal dinner on Friday. 3 days to get myself beautified (mani, pedi, eyebrows, hair), find an outfit (dress, shoes, purse, accessories) and secure childcare (from 3pm Friday afternoon until about noon on Saturday).  I spend one entire day just worrying about how I’m going to get everything done, although I am secretly happy to be going somewhere besides the grocery store and  preschool pick-up.

Then on Thursday, the Hubs comes home and announces that the senior partner has given away the table, apparently annoyed that people are being ‘forced’ to attend. Damn it! I was just getting over my ‘complaining about the short notice’ phase and gearing up for the ‘excitement’ phase.

However, my mother-in-law, still agreed to watch the kiddies so hubby and I decided to go out anyway.

We ended up grabbing dinner from Zaxby’s drive-thru and scarfing it down while sitting in the car outside the movie theater in the ten minutes we had before the feature (Knowing) started.

And the movie was bad.

Talk about a change of plans.

Control Freak

So you know that I just got back from a little trip. And, in preparing for this trip, like I do for all of my trips, I made a list for my hubby. The list went a little something like this:

Thursday

Breakfast

Onyx– ½ a container of yogurt, 2 pear halves, cut into small cubes, O’s. Give him a fork to feed himself the fruit. One of the colored plastic forks. You have to feed him the yogurt. Water to drink. Please use the small square container, filled only ¼ of the way.

Jade– Triple Berry O’s and Soy Milk. She can have two bowls and make sure she doesn’t fill the bowls all the way up too much. No more than two bowls.

After breakfast is play time.

SNACK

I put the snack in the wicker basket.They will be ready for snack between 10:30 and 11.

Jade – Banana and graham crackers. Give them water to drink.

Onyx– the single banana is for O because it is the ripest. Give him half to start, cut into little squares that he can eat with his fork. He can have the other half of his yogurt from breakfast and a few honey sticks(these are in the pantry in the red box with Big Bird on the outside of the box). Water to drink.

NAP

Around noon and after snack it will be time for the kids’ naps. Make sure that Jade goes to the bathroom first. And O will need a fresh diaper before his nap. They should nap for at least two hours.

LUNCH

When the kids wake up it will be lunch time. Jade can have a curried chicken salad sandwich (only one piece of bread), broccoli and 4 or 5 slices of peaches.

O can have two light green food cubes, and peaches cut into bite sized pieces. Place the food cubes in the small glass bowl and warm them for about 45 seconds in the microwave. You have to feed him the baby food, but he can feed himself the peaches.

After lunch the kids can have a few chocolate chip bunnies (purple box in the pantry, ask Jade). They can drink water.

And the list went on and on, in like form from Thursday to Sunday bedtime. Soooo……on one of the days that I was out of town, I had a playdate planned and The Hubs referred to my list when it was time for snack. My girlfriend asked about it and he showed it to her. She fell out laughing. She was incredulous that I left such a detailed list.

Okay, I ALWAYS leave a list like this when I go out of town. It just seemed normal to me….I thought everyone did it.

When I saw my friend at carpool a few days after I returned, she told me (and she said it with love) that I was a control freak.

So, I pose the question to you….am I a total nutjob for leaving a list like this or do you do it too?

The Invitation

I love receiving cheer in the mail. Because we live in the age of electronic communication, we rarely receive anything other than bills or solicitations in the mail. Seriously, it is at the point where I usually don’t even bother going to the mailbox unless it’s around the holidays.

Well, please imagine my delight when I checked the mailbox earlier this week and found only one piece of mail and this is what it was.

This is the back, so you can't get the full glory. Can't show my address, never know what loonies are stalking my blog. Not you, of course

Isn’t it gorgeous? I couldn’t wait to open it up. And look what was inside……

You love it, don't you?

Excitedly, I opened the bow and look!!!

My cousin is marrying into a traditional Indian family. How exciting! I love learning about different cultures and I love to party!! What could be better. But check out the schedule of activities.

Can you believe it? The wedding and the various ceremonies will last, literally, all day! OMG!! I am like, beside myself with excitement. And that’s just the wedding day. There is a rehearsal dinner on Saturday and the Indian ceremonies are on Monday. How fun!

Question: Do I have to bring a gift to each event? Don’t judge me!!!