My husband is a terrible gift giver. God love him…..heck, I love him. But I have to call a spade a spade. He is a terrible gift giver.
The first and worst gift he ever gave me was a house. I know that may sound crazy, so let me explain. The first time we celebrated my birthday together we were already engaged and and house hunting. A few weeks before my birthday we thought we had found the perfect house. We were in love *swoon*. We spent time exploring the neighborhood…mapping our route to the grocery stores, to our respective places of employment, shopping malls, etc.
We decided to sign a contract and pay our earnest money. The best day to do the paperwork happened to fall on my birthday. Early that morning we went to the realtor’s office, completed the paperwork and gave them our check. Our realtor, who happened to be a friend of ours, took us out for brunch afterward.
After brunch, as The Fiance and I were on our way back home, a few friends called to wish me a happy birthday. Of course, since our relationship was so new yet so intense, they were all curious to know…”What did The Fiance get you for your birthday?”Me, being me, still on a high from the exciting events of the day, replied, “He bought me a house!”.
Of course, I didn’t really think that he bought me a house for my birthday. I just thought it was cool that we ‘bought’ the house on my birthday and it sounded like a cute answer…especially since I hadn’t gotten any real gift from him as of yet.
Well, we ‘celebrated’ when we got home. TF probably took a nap and we otherwise whiled away the rest of the afternoon. The whole time I kept waiting for him to tell me to get ready or give me a card or something. Around 6pm, he asked me if I wanted to go get something to eat. I couldn’t believe it! So, I asked, “Do you have anything planned?” He looked a little surprised at the question, so I prodded gently, “Did you get me anything or plan anything for my birthday?”
Do you know what he said to me? Can you guess? He said, “I bought you a house for your birthday.”
So, no card, no gift, no advance planning….nothing. And had the nerve to try to latch on to my cute little idea that I made up to cover for him.
Anywhoo, The Hubs has hit some high notes since then, but overall…let’s just say he’s working on it. What has worked best for me is to just be clear about what I want. So you can imagine my surprise when I announced to The Hubs, “I know what I want for Mother’s Day this year”, and he replied, “I already got your gift.”
Huh?
Evidently, the Hubs is stepping his game up. He claims that this is something that I asked for and he had to order it. He wants to surprise me, but he wants me to be happy. So his question to me is, “Do you want what I already picked out for you or do you want this latest thing that you just asked for?”
I don’t know what to do! I know I want what I just asked for, but I can’t remember what I asked for before. But I’m sure that if it is something that I asked for then I really wanted it. But I don’t know if I want it more than this last thing that I asked for. The Hubs says he will switch the gifts with no problem within the next few days, but his feelings will be hurt if I wait until Mother’s Day, see his gift and say, “Thanks honey. That is so sweet. Can I have the other gift?”
What should I do? What would you do?
This post is linked at Real Life Sarah.
First, thank you for the welcome back in Feb. Just barely back to the blogging world!
And… my fantastic hubby I’m afraid doesn’t do that much better in this dept. After our 1st year of marriage, he bought my a new sweatshirt and running shoes because I told him I wanted to start running again – very thoughtful but not very romantic, esp since 1st Valentines as married, ya know!!
So, sticky situation – could you tell him what it is you want and then let him decide which you would like better?? That’s still a lot of trust! But maybe gives him more idea on what you really want??
Comment by Janice — May 4, 2009 @ 11:13 am
My hubby is a great gifter, so I’m spoiled. Hmm, maybe you can accept your husbands gift and then treat yourself to the other present??
Great story about the house purchase btw.
Comment by msakelley — May 4, 2009 @ 2:42 pm
I would take both. Really.
Comment by Bronwen — May 4, 2009 @ 4:23 pm
I’d try to parlay it into receiving both of the gifts, and if that doesn’t work I’d go for the surprise. I love surprises
Comment by KathyB! — May 4, 2009 @ 5:51 pm
This is a conundrum. I can’t imagine! And I really don’t know what you should do but I can’t wait to find out!
Comment by debbie — May 4, 2009 @ 7:34 pm
I don’t have any advice but to say I soooooooooo get it. No matter what I do my husband insists on picking out a gift on his own.
At least your husband is taking a step in the right direction and asking you. I would go for both too! Good luck!
Comment by Kristin — May 4, 2009 @ 7:46 pm
take his gift and just remember that it is the thought that counts b/c I don’t even think that my husband knows that Mother’s day is on Sunday.
Comment by Jen, buried with children — May 5, 2009 @ 12:50 am
[...] Day present which was the latest thing that I asked for. If you’re confused scan this post to catch up. I was delighted to receive [...]
Pingback by Mother’s Day WIN for The Hubs! « Resplendent Life — May 11, 2009 @ 4:34 pm