I Tri…

I love trying new things and since I need to lose a few (ahem, 40) extra pounds I’ve been looking for new ways to exercise. Something that I have been considering for a couple of years is completing a triathlon.

Now, I am the complete opposite of an athlete. I have never participated in any physical competition, EVER! I mean, in high school, I was the manager of the sports team, not the player. Besides not being an athlete, I’m not really the ‘push myself’ kind of person. I am more like a ‘good enough’ person. For example, I will occasionally take an exercise class at the gym. I am all gung ho to begin, but when I get tired, I’m that person who leaves even if class is still going on (I apologize now if you are the kind of person who hates that). If I do stay, I’m perfectly fine with taking a long break. When the instructor says, ‘give me 50 crunches’, I’m the one who just lies there after doing 35. The way I see it, it’s 35 more than I would have done if I had just stayed home, so I’m good!! So as you can see, I’m sort of like the last person in the world who should be seriously considering a triathlon. Oh, I left out one other detail…. I don’t swim.

Notwithstanding all of the perfectly good reasons for me NOT to do a triathlon, I decided to do it anyway. 8 months before the event, I recruited more than a dozen women to do it with me. We were all excited, we were all determined, we were all committed until…..we all weren’t. Some people dropped out early. They got busy, they got scared; one woman went into hiding after committing a crime (a completely different story). By the time the triathlon was two weeks away, I wasn’t sure that I was still going to do it. I had completely fallen off my training schedule and without my crew I had no motivation.

A last-minute conversation with a friend convinced me to go ahead and participate and in my next post I’ll tell you how that event had such a profound impact on me and dramatically changed my perspective.

Until next time….Be Brilliant!!!

Top Ten Reasons Why My Weekend Was a Bust

10. It was my family reunion weekend, but we couldn’t afford to travel to my reunion (which would have required flying) so we went to my husband’s family reunion which was just a four hour drive away.

9. It was a four hour drive.

8. It was held in a podunk town.  I don’t like podunk towns. Small towns I like because they are cute and quaint and have character. Podunk towns are different. Podunk towns are just old and backward and ugh.

7. We stayed in the best hotel in town and this was one block from the hotel

As a matter of fact, if you look closely on the left side, you can see the hotel.

6. By the time we arrived at the hotel to check in, they had given away all of the rooms with double beds (even though we reserved a room with double beds), so Jade, O, The Hubs and I all had to sleep in the same bed for the entire weekend.

5. I didn’t get any sleep the entire weekend.

4. It was so hot and so humid that my hair was a huge frizzball the entire time. I just kept smiling, even though I knew my hair looked crazy. There’s nothing worse than looking a mess and wearing a scowl, so I just pretended that I was gorgeous.

3.  We all caught colds from the hotel air conditioning blasting directly on us.

2. It was a four hour drive home.

1. As soon as we put the kids in the bed, the biggest, scariest thunderstorm started shaking the house. The kids were so scared that they ended up….yup, you guessed it. In our bed.

Top Ten Reasons Why My Weekend Was Great

10.  We went out of town and I got to meet some of my hubby’s extended family.

9. Across the street from our hotel was the town welcome center and guess what! They had a real bale of cotton in the lobby. A real bale of cotton!!!!

500 pounds of cotton. A crop that has so much meaning and history for our country.

8. I met two women in the hotel dining room who were on a Thelma and Louise kind of trip and we had a great conversation. They had been stay at home moms and now their kids were all grown up and out of the house. It was nice for me to see that there is an end to this and for them to reminisce about the days long past. Very pleasant.

7.  A stranger told me my children were well behaved during breakfast. He just walked right up to the table and said, “You have the most polite, well-behaved children. I know you may not think so, but trust me; I am an ER doctor and your children are extremely well-behaved.” Yay me. I am the best mother in the whole wide world.

6. During the eight hour trip I managed to get a good mindless read in.

5. Jade thinks this was a vacation. LOL!!!

4. I got new clothes just for the trip. Have to put my best face forward for the inlaws. The Hubs couldn’t argue with that.

3.  Hmmm….I am really, reeeaaallly stretching it here. Uh, we stayed at the best hotel in town.

2. The food was great.

1. At least the thunderstorm held off until we made it home. Would have been hell trying to drive in it.

Just trying to keep a positive attitude. How was your weekend?

Art

Jade’s breakfast art:

Can it be that it was all so simple……

Lately I’ve been feeling so nostalgic. When I took Jade to the dentist earlier this week, this was playing on the ceiling television. Do you remember this show?

Well, watching this video led me to this one. Oh, these are good memories…

Those were the days…..

Dance Your Ass Off, You Skinny Bitch!!!

Is it just me or is profanity slowly becoming more and more mainstream? I mean, what’s the deal? I’m no prude, but good grief!! I don’t even allow Jade to say ‘butt’. In our house, we say bottom. Well, I guess I’m just old fashioned because there is a television show called “Dance Your Ass Off”.  HUH?

And television isn’t the only culprit. Who hasn’t heard of the book that launched this ubiquitous phrase?

But Rory and and Kim weren’t the only ones to push the envelope on book titles.  I saw this book featured at Barnes and Noble. That’s right…walked in the front door and it was staring right at me….

Not only that, but what’s acceptable during televsion shows has changed as well. There was a time when you could only get away with a ‘damn’ or ‘hell’. But now, ‘bitch’ and ‘ass’ have joined the list as well. And people have been dropping f-bombs accidentally on live television and radio.  How long will it be before all the four letter words are broadcasting live into your living room?

Now, please don’t get me wrong…..I am no prude. I have been known to pepper my speech and sometimes even my writing with a few choice words when I feel the need. But that doesn’t mean that I want to be bombarded by it every time I turn on the television or walk into a book store.  More importantly, I don’t want my kids to be bombarded by it. Jade is learning to read now, how am I going to explain to her that she can’t say the words that are so freely tossed around?

Just sayin’.

The Trip in A Nutshell

I stood by for three flights and finally made it on the fourth one. My consolation? I was in First Class.

I got to the hotel, just in time to shower and dress for the rehearsal dinner, which was wonderful. But after the day I had, what I wanted most was sleep. I was so happy to get in the bed….

Do you see that? That is my bed. MY bed. No fidgety, sprawling babies in it. No preschoolers peeing in it. No snoring hubby in it. MY BED! WoooHoooo!!!!

I must say, my hotel room and my bed were almost the highlight of my trip. Well, yeah, they were the highlight. I mean, the wedding was incredible, but if I had to choose between the wedding festivities and my bed, I would have just looked for the wedding photos on Facebook.

I feel a little bit weird posting pictures of the wedding ceremony on the web for the world to see, but I want to share the experience with you. So I decided to post this one pic which is a bit of a group shot, but I think captures the atmosphere of the entire weekend.

We had a blast.

The trip home was a repeat of the trip there. Stood by for several flights, finally getting on the last flight of the night. My laptop battery was dead and there wasn’t an outlet to be found. I was so bored, I had an idea for a photo collection.

I call it, “Feet in the Airport.”

Finally, I was able to board a flight for home. Again, first class, but at this point, who cares?

I had a great weekend away, back to reality!

Hostage Situation

I wanted to tell you all about the wedding. I wanted to show you the videos that I shot with my new FLIP video camera. I wanted to show you the two best parts of my trip, explain how I finally made it onto the flights and then faced the same nightmare on the way home. I wanted to talk about all the things that have been going on in my life since I came back, but I couldn’t.
Because I was being held hostage.
By a book.
When I start reading, I can’t stop until I finish it. And this was a 700 pager. So every second that I wasn’t cooking, cleaning or otherwise occupied, I was reading.

And I couldn’t blog.

And I couldn’t read your blogs.

But, the good news is that I finished the book last night. And, I’ve been taking notes on the things that I wanted to blog about. The problem is, those notes are like a word or two written on scrap paper all over my house and car. Sooo…..not sure if those posts are actually going to come to fruition. Maybe I can compile them into a random Tuesday post or something.
Anywhoo, I finished the book. So I’ll be back to blogging tonight.
Tomorrow for sure.
Definitely by this weekend.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!

It’s Mother’s Day and you should be doing what you love to do best. But just in case what you love to do best is blog hop, and somehow you found your way here, I wanted to have something special for you.

Today I am remembering all of my mommy friends who have lost a child. Whether you had your baby for a few weeks in utero or for many years on earth, if you have experienced a loss, then this poem (http://www.geocities.com/griefpoetry2/mothersday.html) is for you. I pray that somehow, some way you find a little modicum of peace, if even for just a little while.

I also want to shout-out all of my mommy friends (both bloggy and irl). You all have a very special place in my heart. I haven’t known you the longest, but you are so very special to me!!! I think it’s because we are taking this very singular journey together. There is nothing like motherhood and I’m so glad that you are my companions on this road. I love you!!!

Finally, I’d like to say thank-you to my own mother (who is a complete nut job, btw) who gave me life and raised me to the best of her ability. Mommy, I’m going to try to stop judging you. You were dealt a hand and you made choices. Sometimes you did what you thought was best, sometimes you did what you thought you had to do. Sometimes you did what the hell you wanted to do, but that’s life.  Anywhoo, our experiences make us who we are and if it weren’t for the perfect combination of your skillful parenting and colossal screw-ups, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. And one day my kids will say the same.

Here’s to you Mom!!!

I like it, I really like it!

Nobody paid me in cash or in kind for the following review.

So, I was in Target the other day and I needed some dishwasher detergent. I was just about to pick up Cascade which is what I typically use, but the Chewy mom in me, vaguely remembered hearing something about phosphates or some other chemical in dishwasher detergent…what was it….oh yeah, here it is. So, I kept looking for a more environmentally friendly variety. My eyes happened upon this visually appealing product.

Isn’t it adorable? Because I was at Tar-zhay, my initial thought was that it was some new product in cutesy packaging, but upon further investigation I discovered differently.

instead of the nasty phosphates and bleach that make up conventional dishwasher detergent, smarty dish is made from super effective ingredients so green that one of them won a presidential green chemistry award (yes, that really is an award). the blend of mineral cleaning salts, anti-spotting agents and enzymes give smarty dish its serious kick, while the biodegradable and non-toxic ingredients mean no harmful residues or fumes to worry about in your home…or down the drain.

Cute and healthy! Of course, there was yet one more test that Method had to pass in order to make it into the Gem household. Is it cheap? It was $4.99 for 20 cubes. Compared to the Cascade that I had in my other hand which was $4.29 for 20 cubes. Cheap enough for me!

So, I brought that cute little canister home and gave those eco-friendly cubes a try. Let me tell you ….they worked BETTER than the Cascade. Seriously. Much better. The dishes felt cleaner and had that squeaky clean quality that I had been missing with Cascade. To be fair, I had been using the Cascade powder as opposed to the cube, so I don’t know if that had any effect.

Oh and while we’re on the topic. I had previously tried an eco-friendly brand of dishwashing detergent that was so awful, I didn’t even finish using the entire container. And you know how tight money is around here, so you know that’s saying something. I would empty the dishwasher and have to re-wash half of my silverware and some of the plates as well. Come on, plates are the easiest thing to clean in a dishwasher! And I’m one of those people that rinse the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher!

Then I google’d that particular product and find out that it is a fraud! They label it eco-friendly because it is phosphate free but it still contains chlorine bleach. You mean to tell me that product has bleach in it and it still can’t get dishes clean? Good grief! Don’t bother trying this product. Not calling any names. But not only does it do a crappy job, but I couldn’t even find a good picture of it. Just saying.

In conclusion, go get Method Dishwasher detergent at Target!!! You can thank me later.

They Should Have Just Bought Her Some Chicken Cutlets

O.kay. So, I had something completely different planned for today’s post and then, as I’m making my cyber-rounds before I start blogging, I come across this story:

Miss California to Protect Traditional Marriage;

Pageant Paid for Her Breast Implants

Wha- huh? Excuse me? Ok, this is just sad. I read further and find this quote from Keith Lewis, co-director of the Miss California pageant.

LEWIS: Well, you know, first off, it’s not something that we endorse, nor is it something that we suggest. But when we meet with the titleholder when she’s crowned Miss California, we put to her a litany of questions about how she feels about herself, what she feels she needs to work on, what she may need to change, what is good, what is not good. We want to put her in the best possible confidence in order to present herself in the best possible light on a national stage.

Listen,this is not about Miss California’s answer during the Miss USA pageant. This is about the fact that a woman who has just won a beauty pageant feels that she needs breast implants in order to be in her best confidence and to present herself in the best possible light. I mean, really….what does that say about our society when false perfection (think airbrushing, plastic surgery, etc.) is considered the epitome of beauty? What kind of a standard is that for us and even worse, what kind of standard is that for our daughters?

I’m not going to go on and on. But tell me…what do you think?

Read the entire article here or here with video.